ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He has the fingertips of a God
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