1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
