pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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