dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize