i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
