The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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