lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
