We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
