You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
