You're so nebulous sometimes
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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