Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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