walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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