I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
