She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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