Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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