Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was like eating out sand paper
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
