We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
