You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
