girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
