Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
