I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
