She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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