Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize