dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
