Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
