Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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