he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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