I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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