I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
