two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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