I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
