im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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