Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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