break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
