i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
