I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
