Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
