he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
