You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
