batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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