My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
