My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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