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I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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