How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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