I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
