what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize