i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
