When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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