I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
