oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
