Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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