I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
