i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize