i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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