you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
