My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
