Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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