tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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