i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
