a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
