I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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