i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
