We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize