I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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